Monday, November 23, 2009

Holiday Cheer

Yesterday was the Sunday before Thanksgiving, and as I drove the family home from dinner, my brother cycled through radio stations looking for music. Our local "soft rock"/adult contemporary station has begun playing Christmas music. Exclusively.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Out of Fashion For 300 Years

I cannot wait for the fashion trend of men wearing undersized/tight/women's jeans to be over. There are many reasons for this:
  1. I don't need to see your underwear.
  2. Or your buttcrack.
  3. It adds shape to your hips, which is feminizing.
  4. There's no room for your junk, so you either look like a girl or or you look like a girl with boy parts.
  5. Only the person(s) you're bumping uglies with needs to know if you manscape. Or wants to know.
I thought sagging was a dumb trend (let's all pretend we're wearing diapers), but this particular trend is outright offensive.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

On "Fantasy"

This is exactly how I feel about the Harry Potter series. Don't even get me started on the glut of vampire bs on TV right now, and may Twilight and its fans die a horrible fiery death. At least J.K. Rowling isn't a terrible writer whom I might have criticized in the 6th grade.

This trend is like taking the game of golf, adding grooves upon which the balls are meant to travel (all downhill, of course), and calling it golfu. Then, we expose a fan of the actual game of golf to constant golfu advertising and gossip sites and tween girls constantly giggling about the latest golfu star. Just, no. All involved should be shot.

Friday, October 2, 2009

I'll Admit to Dropping Him as a Baby

Brother:   My toes are cold.
Me:         So wear socks.
Brother:   I want toe warmers.
Me:         They're called socks.

Can you believe the law considers this one an adult?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Fair and Balanced

Most mainstream news media producers feel the need to present both sides of an issue, no matter how ridiculous one side is. This can lead to a shifting of perception of moderate towards the radical argument, because by attempting to maintain the appearance of impartiality, the mere presentation of an argument can legitimize that argument.

The primary function of news media is to generate advertising dollars, but the naïveté of the public cannot be overestimated (I present to you as proof the existence of the Birther movement in the United States), and it irritates me to have extremist viewpoints aired by mainstream news media for the obsolete purpose of appearing impartial. Or perhaps for the purpose of airing ridiculous viewpoints as entertainment.

News can be reported to me in a "boring" fashion. Perhaps it's simply the result of my formative education centering on science, but context, sources, and sometimes even reasoned conjecture are the types of additives I prefer with my news. If the news must be entertaining, the producers should hire writers to throw in some dry humor, and maybe I'll even watch the commercials.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Hey baby.

Hi there! I'll use a (very slightly) different color and font to distinguish my posts from Super Z's. I chose purple because it was the least eye-straining result of my random mouse flailing. I chose the font "Georgia" because I loved listening to Laura Harris say "jyor-jyah" over and over in Dead Like Me. I could watch her talk for hours.

It just hit me how culturally prescient Beavis & Butthead were. While watching some old clips (over a decade old!), I found it eerie how well their "yeas and nays" have carried forward to align with the music that is and isn't popular today (at least in terms of LA-area KROQ rotation). Consider:

  • Love of Nirvana, RHCP, Metallica, Tool, the Beasties, and most of the other 90's era rock that's still hugely successful today.
  • Disdain for the late 80's/early 90's mascara and hairspray rock (see: Poison) that... er, hasn't aged well.
  • Their discerning taste wasn't limited to rock, either - they were down with Snoop Dogg and even with Lady Miss Kier shakin' it (Groove is in the Heart - really!)
  • Another revelation that blew me away was that they loved themselves some Radiohead - not just the crunchy Creep, but even Fake Plastic Trees. (Yes, Beavis and Butthead were into Radiohead two albums before 90% of their massive current fanbase had even heard of them.)
  • They knew instantly just how bad Vanilla Ice was. (C'mon, some of us - er, you - had To The Extreme on cassette tape. Admit it!)
I leave to you the task of analyzing precisely why Beavis & Butthead's musical taste has proven itself so canny and enduring in the long run. (In my head, it was kind of a chicken or the egg argument, except exponentially more horrifying.)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Christmas Season


Next few posts are late; I've been neglecting to transfer pictures from my mobile. This one was taken at a local Costco on August 2, 2009.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Refreshing

1 Part Trader Joe's® Pomegranate Blueberry Juice Blend
1 Part Hansen's® Pomegranate All Natural Cane Soda

Result: Relief from 38° Celsius weather.

Yes, Celsius. I try not to perpetuate the near inexplicable refusal of the United States to move towards a more meaningful measurement system. 100
° is the boiling point of water at sea level; it is not "real hot, yo".

Friday, June 12, 2009

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Oscar® Nominee

Overheard while at a restaurant with a view of a poster for Imagine That:

"Who the hell let Eddie Murphy make another movie?"

Friday, April 24, 2009

Words of Wisdom

You've heard the old adage: "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."

I suppose that's probably true, but wouldn't you catch the most flies with a steaming pile of shit?

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Be True To Yourself

I'll admit to being one of this season's 22 million American Idol viewers. It's good entertainment, isn't it? Song and "dance", with constant NASCAR disaster-wreck moments, and almost as fun to lampoon as campy sci-fi/horror flicks. Hell, sometimes there's even genuinely good singing.

One thing I cannot stand, however, is an anthem that crops up nigh-constantly in interviews with American youth today: "true to [your]self". For fuck's sake, what does that even mean? The phrase implies a uniqueness to everyone, and a greatness therein. The judges on AI (especially Paula) love this phrase, but so do the contestants, and hell, all reality show stars love this phrase.

"I felt like it was important, to like, stay true to myself, and like, show the world who I really am." All I'm hearing is "I'm inarticulate and will now subject you to verbal diarrhea." If what you wanted to say is that you wanted to make your municipality proud, that you wanted to brand a performance with your style, or that you are proud for keeping sight of your goal, fine. Please, for the love of my ears, just say so. Does Ms. Abdul want to tell an aspiring pop singer that their vocal style is distinctive? How about this: "Your. vocal. style. is. distinctive!"

You'll have to imagine the corners of her lips moving her smile only slightly, like a drunken amateur ventriloquist.